The need to be needed !!!

Don’t settle for crumbs …

Do you forgo your SELF in order to be needed, to feel loved?  Breadcrumbing is when someone gives you a few crumbs to keep you interested and, in their life, but they don’t really care about a true loving relationship or connection with you. That person that suggests that holiday together, the person that says they will support you at an event, that text promising a coffee soon but they have no interest in actually meeting up. Breadcrumbing is manipulative, if you start seeing this pattern of behaviour in someone, you have it all in you to stop it. Tell them how it makes you feel. You don’t have to accept their manipulation.  If they keep doing this, don’t respond, their manipulation only affects you and works if you continue engaging.

People that use these tactics, have no remorse for their actions or behaviour, they don’t want to change, in fact they don’t see any wrong in themselves. DO NOT blame yourself just because they make you feel that way, often their childhood experiences have made them this way, it’s not you. You can let go of the guilt or shame they put upon you through their projections. Abuse is never ever ever your fault.  Psychological manipulation is abuse, you may have heard it called Coercive control or narcissistic abuse. Emotional abuse can and will make your body go into dis- ease if you allow it, affecting you mind, body, soul and spirit.  As a victim of breadcrumbing it is normal to be trauma bonded to the abuser, believing this is love. 

You are worthy of relationships in which you are treated with respect, prioritised and valued. Stop investing in people who only speak to you when they have nothing else to do.

You are worthy

You are loved

You are valued

What to do?

  • Notice and acknowledge if their actions are matching their words
  • Are you tolerating unwanted behaviour?
  • Notice the reality of what this person is showing you in the present and not the prospect of what may be in the future.
  • Identify what personal needs are being met by this breadcrumbing that drives you to continue engaging, despite feeling hurt, frustrated or upset by their actions.
  • Identify your learned beliefs about yourself, are you seen, are you heard (were these unmet growing up, what does your inner-child need now rather than accepting the bare minimum breadcrumbs.
  • Learn to meet your own needs

Don’t let someone’s emotional inconsistency, make you addicted to temporary highs and constant lows.  Don’t settle for crumbs.

How can I help?

If you can resonate with any of what I’ve described , do get in touch. I offer a free 20 minute discovery  call, which you can book via the calendly link on my website. Taking care of your whole SELF; mind, body and soul and recharging your battery is where the journey starts, and I can give you the tools to heal.

Don’t suffer in silence, I’ve been where you are. 

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